What does that mean exactly? Well, I find myself struggling this time of year. For some reason, the shorter days take their toll as I’m getting up at dark and it’s dark before I get home. The herd and I get very good at navigating through the dark to get back to our cozy barn where hay nets are full and the water is now heated. I never knew how much my horses enjoy coming into the barn for their meals and then spending the night in an overly large stall or having a paddock to go out from the barn until the wind picks up and the rain and sleet hit us ... That’s when I hear them, “PLEASE get me back to the barn.”

These small details make all the difference in their comfort as they all love their spots.  It took a while to figure out who should go where, but now that we have them in their correct spaces, I think we will be settling in for an enjoyable winter season.

I gather my gratitude when I see how hard we all struggle during the darkest times of the year. Family ties that have been lost, relationships that have ended, bonds that are broken, and let’s not forget the loss that so many have suffered. With all this swirling around us, this is the time to go within ... Let’s do that for a moment, shall we?

Breathing in deeply, and becoming mindful of the pause in between inhaling and exhaling, let your breath out slowly. Do that again and this time become aware of your shoulders and what they’re doing when you breathe in and then out. One more time, breathe in as deep as you can and close your eyes. Let it out slowly, releasing any tension.

I am grateful for this moment. I am grateful for breathing. I am grateful for my life. It is times like these that I speak more about the people and animals who have passed on than any other time in the year. Memories of the good times, memories and feelings that are good. Sometimes when I’m feeling sad, I close my eyes and visualize Ivan right in front of me. I can feel him right there. And I hug him in spirit. I miss that big boy.  It is such a gift to be able to still do that.

The equine gestalt approach to the grieving process is unique and an experience like none other. I might add, that grief work is as much heart felt as it is healing.  We all miss someone who’s no longer on this planet. I do. But I also know that the only way to enjoy living is to:

#1. Never, ever let them go. Hold them in your heart and love them just as you did when they were here on this earth.

#2. Be kind to your precious heart and let it all out when you need to.

#3. Trust in the process.

Our horses will hold a presence for you that cannot be explained in any way, but ethereal. Grieving does not have to be a lonely experience and yet for many of us, we do it alone. We don’t have to anymore.